Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
