You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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