Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
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