Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
