I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
