he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
