i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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