I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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