Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
