I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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