He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
