Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
