I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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