im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
my liver is dry heaving
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize