After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
