I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
