Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
