Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
