Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
