Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
