He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize