Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
i just made my gag reflex go away.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Randomize
