I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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