Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Randomize
