I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
