We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
