the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
