Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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