i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
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