Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
