My nipple is on Facebook.
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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