Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
