Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize