i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
