You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
