I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
