meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Randomize