Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
only you would photoshop your dick
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
