the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
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