If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Nobody cheats on THIS.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
