Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Randomize
