So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
