I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
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