yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
I think I just sharted jello shots
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