I wanna bring you to show and tell
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
try to milk me bitch
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize