Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
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