I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
