so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
