Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
This house was built for laser tag.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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