Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize