I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize