I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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