i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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