Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
