so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
