This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
