Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize