i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
i think im in europe. pls send help
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
