we're blogging at a bar
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
