Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
We left an ass print on the piano.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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