seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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