therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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