Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
she woke up with a sticky ear
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Randomize
