redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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