nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
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