Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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